I woke up yesterday to sun rays decorating my floor and birds chirping outside my window. On any other day, these small details would have barely registered in my head. But after a week of experiencing the haze in Singapore with the PSI Index reaching up to 400, it was something I truly, truly appreciate.
I found myself tearing.
There was a dark point in my life where I questioned if there was really a God. I remember sitting in a dirty stairwell outside my college, my hands covering my tear-stricken face as my knees shook. All my future plans rested on my A Levels results and I did all I could to ensure it; my results were consistently good, I studied like mad night after night as the exams neared, and I did additional prayers every single night begging for a chance.
Needless to say, when my results came out, I was beyond disappointed. All I got were Cs and Ds. There was no chance I could get into the best local university and course of my dreams – Economics.
I spent the next couple of years aimless, angry and empty as I moved from one job to another. I could not understand how God could have decided this for me. If God is good, how could He do something so bad? How could He have thrown a spanner into my dreams and hopes? All those nights praying for the best, and this was His reply?
My answer came years later in the form of an acceptance letter from another university. An Islamic university, where I would major in Communications and minor in Islamic Studies. A university where I am now enjoying and excelling in my field of studies. Who would have known?
Four years ago, I certainly didn’t. But He knew. And when I prayed for the best results for my life, He knew it was not what I had planned for myself. His plans were infinitely better than mine; I am currently in a place where I am contented with my life.
We think that something is bad only because of our short-sightedness and limited capabilities in assessing the situation. There is always an inherent goodness in every single incident that happens – it may be for now, it may be for the future, it may be for you, or it may be for others. Regardless of how and to whom it is good for, there is always inherent good.
We may think we know that something is best for us, but if we reflect on countless wonderful moments that have happened in our life, we realize that many are incidents beyond our control. Some call it serendipity, some call it coincidence, some call it luck. I call it His plans falling into place.
We may think that when we pray or beg something from God enough, He would fulfill our prayers as is. But if a child were to ask to play with a knife, or with fire, or even to have sweets every single second of the day, would a mother give in to his desires knowing that it was not the best thing for him?
When ‘bad’ things happen to us, when we fall or make mistakes, when we try our best and don’t succeed, there is always an inherent good in it. There is always the wisdom behind every single situation. It is precisely these situations we are in that carve us to be better persons. And in these situations we learn to be more appreciative of all that we have now.
One day, the skies will clear and the haziness of our own judgments will go away. Until then, we have to be patient, and know in our hearts that in everything, there is an inherent good.